


Unfair

by tenshi6



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 01:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22007554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenshi6/pseuds/tenshi6
Summary: Steve isn't selfish, but wished for once he was.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Unfair

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written for ages, but didn't want to finish the year without posting anything, so here's something I've written a few years back, but never posted. Hope it's not too terrible.
> 
> I also plan on making some time to write next year, I really miss it.

“It’s safer this way,” said Bucky with a bitter smile.

Steve nodded. Not because he agreed but he respected his best friend’s decision. He knew how terrified Bucky was of himself and it would be selfish of Steve to ask him to change his mind. He wanted to plead, beg, scream, cry, whatever was necessary to convince him, but then Bucky would give in and Steve would not be able to live with that burden.

Bucky had been controlled for so long, Steve didn’t want to influence him one way or another. He had to accept and honour his decision, even if it broke him.

“I know,” Steve said quietly at last and felt awful for not meaning it. He wanted Bucky awake, standing by his side where he belonged. He would figure something out. They would. They always did, or at least, used to, before everything went horribly wrong.

It was cruel everyone expected Steve to be selfless all the time, because he was Captain America, the golden boy, kindness and justice in hand walking the earth. Steve only wanted a handful of things in his life, his mother to be alive even just a bit longer, to take Peggy dancing, to save Bucky – and he lost each and every one of them.

Then fate gave him another chance, he got Bucky back, only to lose him again. Bucky was about to say goodbye and they may never see each other again and there was not a thing on earth Steve could do against it, not without hurting Bucky.

He clutched his fist and pressed his lips together as he watched Bucky, the most important person in his life, step into the cryo tube calmly and giving Steve a small, half-confident smile. The back of his eyes were burning, but Steve forced the tears down and smiled back.

It was unfair. Steve wanted to smash the stupid thing to pieces, grab Bucky and take him away. Show him the world and all its wonders, then live together in a small house somewhere peaceful. In a nice log house in the mountains or on a small island where it was always hot and sunny. Have a place they could call ‘home’. Or if Bucky wanted to stay in a big city or even join the Avengers, Steve would be fine with that. Anything as long as Bucky had a place for Steve in his life.

It would never happen. Realization hit Steve like a brick in the face as he watched Bucky close his eyes and frost creeping up his skin. No matter what bond they had, it was gone. They could never go back, they could never forget the war and all the things that happened after. They would never find peace. It was cruel. No matter how badly Steve wanted or how right it would be, he just wouldn’t get it.

Steve let a teardrop fall down now that Bucky couldn’t see him and turned away. He didn’t know how long he could go on like this…


End file.
